Last night someone I love dearly and highly respect said something that made me very sad. He didn't actually say it, I guess, but it was implied. He implied I live in a self-made bubble. And he basically stated that because of who I am and the bubble I live in I should not participate in something as my contribution and sharing of it later would not reach the 'right audience.' You know, a diverse community. The reality is that my personal bubble is not self-made but life directed. He lives in a bubble too; his is just different than mine.
We both grew up in a family where our parents (I think unknowingly, but because of who they are and the life we lived) raised us to appreciate all people. We were raised to be kind and considerate, attentive and thoughtful no matter your skin color, religion, social status, capability, etc. That's one of the many qualities I love about my siblings. And my husband and I try to raise our children in the same way.
Thing is, you can only dictate your bubble so much. Where you choose to live, where you choose to go to school, whether or not you choose to believe in anything beyond your self is your choice sometimes but not always. And even when you make specific choices other people make their own choices too, which can affect you, like it or not. This young man lives in Brooklyn, New York. I live in rural North Carolina. Our lives are infinitely different just because of that one fact. Did I choose to live here? No. But I do. Choices my husband and I made, as well as ones made for us, brought us here and we have stayed, and we don't regret it. That does not mean everything has been rainbows and butterflies, it just means my bubble is different than his.
I am not hidden away from humanity as he seems to believe. I come across all kinds of people that you would typically find in rural, suburban, and city communities in North Carolina. Just because the neighbor who moved in next door 'looks to be just like me' does not mean that they are, or that it matters.
And here I will say some things that will cause people to tell me I have no clue and I'm privileged, white, crazy but I don't care. I'm tired of the stupidity. In the south my family is the minority. Sometime you can actually see it but usually you can't. There are so many more aspects to humans than color of your skin, things that go far deeper than what you see. We are Catholic (strike one in the south), we homeschool (a strike but growing community), and we are of European decent (amazing, I know, who would have guessed that's a strike? me). There is more, but I won't bore you. What you see when you look at my family is white, privileged. That's not reality.
The last neighborhood we lived in the neighborhood kids would not play with our kids unless the children across the street said to. Our skin was the wrong color. Why did we move? Because rent got raised too high for us to afford.
I worked for 3 years as a Youth Ministrer in a local parish. I got yelled at, in a room full of adults and teens, claiming I was stealing their children's faith. Why? Because my skin was the wrong color and I did not speak the correct language. Why did I leave that job? Not because of the numerous times my friend (and I should not have to mention but will, who has different skin color and speaks a different language) has found me crying or on the verge of tears in my office because people can't seem to understand that it's ok for us to be one community. Why is it hard to believe all our kids can do things together, get to know each other, and be friends? Why can't parents understand that their child and their family are important to me and I care and I work hard specifically for them and all the families who I come across? Because I am white. Because I am American. I left because of the staff.
I have been scared away from a church, not because of what i was warned about but the people who felt they needed to warn me. I have gotten kicked out of a co-op because I insisted on truth and honesty. I almost got kicked out of a homeschool group (a priest saved my skin) because ...honestly I have no idea why i was black balled but now I am avoided. All I want is honest discussion and people treated with respect and care.
The point of all this? If I want to try something that is meant to be shared with a larger community that may or may not fit my regular stomping ground who are you to say I shouldn't or can't. We are where we are meant to be (a topic for another day). I don't push my faith on people, I live my faith. I talk to and teach people because they want to talk with me and because they want to learn what I'm teaching. And just because my community is very different and not diverse enough for someone else's politically correct ideals does not mean that I am not reaching the exact people I am meant to be reaching. All people deserve to learn. No matter who they are or where they live.We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. We should all be treated with respect and love. No matter the color of your skin or the language you speak. No matter the faith you have or the faith you lack. No matter what.
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Funny side note - This morning I told my 11 year old daughter that she "could do it", that she's "a strong, capable woman." Her reply? She's not a woman. I told her she would be, some day. She never questioned the strong, capable part. I love my kids.
