Bubbles

Last night someone I love dearly and highly respect said something that made me very sad.  He didn't actually say it, I guess, but it was implied. He implied I live in a self-made bubble.  And he basically stated that because of who I am and the bubble I live in I should not participate in something as my contribution and sharing of it later would not reach the 'right audience.'  You know, a diverse community.  The reality is that my personal bubble is not self-made but life directed.  He lives in a bubble too; his is just different than mine.
We both grew up in a family where our parents (I think unknowingly, but because of who they are and the life we lived) raised us to appreciate all people. We were raised to be kind and considerate, attentive and thoughtful no matter your skin color, religion, social status, capability, etc.  That's one of the many qualities I love about my siblings. And my husband and I try to raise our children in the same way.

Thing is, you can only dictate your bubble so much.  Where you choose to live, where you choose to go to school, whether or not you choose to believe in anything beyond your self is your choice sometimes but not always. And even when you make specific choices other people make their own choices too, which can affect you, like it or not.  This young man lives in Brooklyn, New York.  I live in rural North Carolina.  Our lives are infinitely different just because of that one fact.  Did I choose to live here? No. But I do.  Choices my husband and I made, as well as ones made for us, brought us here and we have stayed, and we don't regret it.  That does not mean everything has been rainbows and butterflies, it just means my bubble is different than his.

I am not hidden away from humanity as he seems to believe.  I come across all kinds of people that you would typically find in rural, suburban, and city communities in North Carolina.  Just because the neighbor who moved in next door 'looks to be just like me' does not mean that they are, or that it matters.

And here I will say some things that will cause people to tell me I have no clue and I'm privileged, white, crazy but I don't care.  I'm tired of the stupidity.  In the south my family is the minority.  Sometime you can actually see it but usually you can't. There are so many more aspects to humans than color of your skin, things that go far deeper than what you see.  We are Catholic (strike one in the south), we homeschool (a strike but growing community), and we are of European decent (amazing, I know, who would have guessed that's a strike? me).  There is more, but I won't bore you. What you see when you look at my family is white, privileged. That's not reality.
The last neighborhood we lived in the neighborhood kids would not play with our kids unless the children across the street said to. Our skin was the wrong color. Why did we move?  Because rent got raised too high for us to afford.
I worked for 3 years as a Youth Ministrer in a local parish. I got yelled at, in a room full of adults and teens, claiming I was stealing their children's faith.  Why? Because my skin was the wrong color and I did not speak the correct language. Why did I leave that job? Not because of the numerous times my friend (and I should not have to mention but will, who has different skin color and speaks a different language) has found me crying or on the verge of tears in my office because people can't seem to understand that it's ok for us to be one community.  Why is it hard to believe all our kids can do things together, get to know each other, and be friends? Why can't parents understand that their child and their family are important to me and I care and I work hard specifically for them and all the families who I come across? Because I am white. Because I am American.  I left because of the staff.
I have been scared away from a church, not because of what i was warned about but the people who felt they needed to warn me. I have gotten kicked out of a co-op because I insisted on truth and honesty. I almost got kicked out of a homeschool group (a priest saved my skin) because ...honestly I have no idea why i was black balled but now I am avoided.  All I want is honest discussion and people treated with respect and care.

The point of all this? If I want to try something that is meant to be shared with a larger community that may or may not fit my regular stomping ground who are you to say I shouldn't or can't.  We are where we are meant to be (a topic for another day). I don't push my faith on people, I live my faith. I talk to and teach people because they want to talk with me and because they want to learn what I'm teaching.  And just because my community is very different and not diverse enough for someone else's politically correct ideals does not mean that I am not reaching the exact people I am meant to be reaching.  All people deserve to learn. No matter who they are or where they live.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.  We should all be treated with respect and love. No matter the color of your skin or the language you speak.  No matter the faith you have or the faith you lack. No matter what.

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Funny side note - This morning I told my 11 year old daughter that she "could do it", that she's "a strong, capable woman."  Her reply? She's not a woman. I told her she would be, some day. She never questioned the strong, capable part. I love my kids.

Stations of the Cross

On Friday we joined some homeschoolers to celebrate the end of their 8 week co-op session, by celebrating the Feast of the Annunciation.  We had a wonderful time!  One of the moms talked to the children about the Annunciation (usually they would read a story.)  Then the children did a craft.  They made a grotto that held a picture of the Annunciation in a popsicle stick frame, decorated with stones...all on a piece of cardboard.  (You can buy a ready-to-make craft like this from Illuminated Ink and Catholic retailers who carry their products.) After the craft the children were split up into two groups.  The 6 and unders went to Adoration.  Now that may sound crazy but after a quick reminder of what Adoration is and that they need to be very quiet, they were wonderful for the 3 or 4 minutes they were in there.  I was only able to stay a moment due to Miss Cat, but truly, it was a beautiful site.

While the younger ones went to Adoration the older ones started Stations of the Cross in the church, then headed over to Adoration after.  The little ones headed into the church for Stations not long after the older ones. 

Usually during Lent many people go at least once, if possible, to Stations of the Cross.  With children sometimes its hard to do that due to the hour the Stations are done.  This was a nice, child friendly time where if someone did act up they could be taken out without the looks and stares normally found among those who don't have children with them. 

The other thing about this morning was that it reinforced a beautiful tradition of the church as well as the facts behind it. 

Many times we forget...forget to say thank you, forget to remember, forget to be in awe of the love showered upon us and the graces that are freely given to us. Many times we forget about God.  We forget about how Christ gave His life for every one of us, how God gave His son, how the Holy Spirit continually fills us with grace.

The passion and death of Jesus is an ineffable mystery of love in which the three divine Persons are involved. The Father takes the free and absolute initiative: it is he who loves first and, in delivering the Son into our murderous hands, exposes his dearest possession. As St. Paul says, he "did not spare his own Son", that is, he did not keep him for himself as a jealously held treasure, but "gave him up for us all" (Rom 8:32).

The Son fully shares the Father's love and his plan of salvation: He gave himself for our sins ... according to the will of our God and Father" (Gal 1:4).

And the Holy Spirit? As in the intimacy of Trinitarian life, so too in this exchange of love which takes place between the Father and the Son in the mystery of Golgotha, the Holy Spirit is the Person-Love in whom the love of the Father and the Son converge. (Spirit Is Present in the Paschal Mystery, Pope John Paul II, General Audience, June 10, 1998)

Stations of the Cross should be done weekly, throughout the entire year.  We should be reminded to remember, aways. 

Sometimes, especially with the younger ones, that is not so easy.  Yesterday over at Catholic Icing Lacy posted about a Stations of the Cross File Folder activity she created.  (i have tried to post a picture but it just does not want to cooperate! anyway...)  What a beautiful way to teach and reinforce the Paschal Mystery!

I plan to make one for our kids as after Friday they have been reading the Stations to themselves before bed (mainly the younger ones.)  I found at the local catholic bookstore a very nice copy that is simple enough to do quickly yet well - if that makes sense.  They each have a copy and they sit on Ladybug's bed and go through them.  It does a mother's heart good. 

So as i said, i plan to make a set for our children ...and a set to give away.  It will not be identical to Lacy's but it will be similar in style.  Its an activity that can be used year round - Thank you Lacy, for such a wonderful idea!

Homeschooling in High School

This year we have a new twist to our little homeschool.  We have a high schooler.  When homeschooling at the high school level there is always that big internal debate 'do we enroll with an accredited school or go it alone?'  We opted for the enrollment. 

There are many reasons, the main one being that when a homeschooling father says 'i always toss out any application that says no high school diploma.  I don't have time to find out if they dropped out, have their GED, or were homeschooled.' it makes you think twice.  So we took the plunge. 

We have been homeschooling for over 10 years now (yes, we started at age 3 ...HE ASKED ME TO!) In all those years we have never followed the lesson plans exactly.  That is one of the things i love about homeschooling... you can adjust as needed for each child. But i'm not saying i haven't tried.  Really, I have. I just don't have it in me.  So we enrolled this year...yes i already said that, but it is significant enough to say again.

These last few years i have really looked long and hard into the different Catholic Curricula knowing High School loomed close ahead.  And as we got closer i even consulted with our future HSer as to his opinion on things.  It really helps to make it their own when they have some knowledge of what going on.

We looked at Mother of Divine Grace.  Many families we know switched to that from Seton in the past several years.  Its a good curriculum but a bit too light in some subjects for us.  Then we looked at Kolbe.  What interested us about them was that you have several graduation tracts to choose from depending on where you think you're headed.  We almost went with them.  Da Tall Guy and i discussed it in depth and he felt he would like to do the highest diploma available through them, carrying the most credits.  He plans to go to college. 

But as usual, life does not always go as planned.  You know those times in life when something else just seems the better route suddenly?  When you've made the decision and then the Holy Spirit says 'hey, wait a minute.' Well, that's what we ended up with.  In the past i have looked at Our Lady of Victory and Our Lady of the Rosary but we don't know anyone using either curriculum.  Kolbe was pushing the envelope but i at least had more knowledge of them the OLV or OLR.  But we changed course and thus courses. 

Every year (almost) i attend a homeschool conference.  Every year i see the beautiful books OLV uses.  Many are reprints of old Catholic School books used by our parents.  I am a sucker for books.  So when asked why we went with OLV you may hear my first response, "they have pretty books."  : ) ...But... They are actually pretty tough.  They have one diploma and it is the same amount of credits Kolbe has for their highest credit diploma.  They use wonderful books.  They are very helpful.  You are able to change out up to 2 classes (not including religion.)  We are using a different math - I have very strong feelings concerning Saxon and he is far enough ahead that we wanted a program that would have available to him what he needed throughout his entire high school career.  We are using Math-U-See.  Other then that, we are using everything they have in the lesson plans. 

Now, he is keeping me on my toes being sure i have things graded and the papers ready ....they need to go in every other week. That helps as i am not good about keeping up with those things regularly.  We are very happy with OLV so far - the Holy Spirit strikes again!

For years people warned us about high school.  It will be tough!  How will you teach things like biology, chemistry, geometry, etc?  Guess what!  It is no where as scary as people make it out to be.  NO WHERE NEAR AS SCARY!  I recommend you jump right in.  Having taught your child for 8+ years (if you started at the beginning) gives you a fairly decent idea about what they will need in High School.  But the one big thing i think, is that you really need to have them involved.  Show them what you are looking at for them...and why.  Discuss with them what they are thinking about for after high school.  It does not mean that is exactly what they will do, but it gives you a direction to head in.  Most importantly remember to always listen...to your high schooler, to your heart, to the calling of the Holy Spirit.